Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize