69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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