pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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