508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
