If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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