Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
What drink are we having for lunch?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
