No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
of course. lets lasso hookers.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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