I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
