I met the friendliest cop last night
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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