Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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