I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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