You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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