I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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