I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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