so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
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