I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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