Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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