I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just want nice things and good sex
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
