Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
