ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
