at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
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