She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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