remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
