i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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