her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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