lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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