I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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