My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
