Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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