Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
