she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
