it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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