I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
