honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
