At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
