did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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