True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
