Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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