so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
