You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
