so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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