my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
