hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
