The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We left the knife in your bed.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
