Ambien. No doubt about it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We have started to decorate penises.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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