no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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