does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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