Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
