people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
