i permit you to call me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She bit a glass in half.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.