Texts From Last Night

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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...

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  (613): Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry... http://tfl.nu/3gdb
  Replies (51) Good night (6505) Bad night (949)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.

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  (845): You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you. http://tfl.nu/t7go
  Replies (21) Good night (4782) Bad night (1193)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug

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  (480): he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug http://tfl.nu/z2q2
  Replies (6) Good night (1166) Bad night (4864)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.

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  (313): She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement. http://tfl.nu/rfma
  Replies (25) Good night (9652) Bad night (1071)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.

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  (212): Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom. http://tfl.nu/fuov
  Replies (19) Good night (942) Bad night (4729)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY

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  (914): Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY http://tfl.nu/p14o
  Replies (11) Good night (3665) Bad night (1471)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did

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  (910): It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did http://tfl.nu/v7hu
  Replies (11) Good night (900) Bad night (1531)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.

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  (306): Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's. http://tfl.nu/a874
  Replies (6) Good night (2899) Bad night (654)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.

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  (609): Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people. http://tfl.nu/gli6
  Replies (11) Good night (3331) Bad night (731)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.

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  (256): I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night. http://tfl.nu/42hk
  Replies (0) Good night (1310) Bad night (516)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night

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  (231): Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night http://tfl.nu/x115
  Replies (4) Good night (996) Bad night (430)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I want to go out and have good clean fun.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.

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  (931): I want to go out and have good clean fun. (931): Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina. http://tfl.nu/qwbd
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (457)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.

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  (469): I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins. http://tfl.nu/edtw
  Replies (1) Good night (710) Bad night (485)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?

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  (570): I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/4cua
  Replies (1) Good night (656) Bad night (274)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.

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  (203): She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle. http://tfl.nu/9n9g
  Replies (5) Good night (1099) Bad night (281)

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