Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
