Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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