He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
