By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize