I'm really into asian looking animals
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
