Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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