Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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