If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize