i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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