i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
