I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.