Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party