your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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